Get a Job
by Mordac
Summary: Athena makes the Knights get a job. Bad in summaries, read it to see. Reviews PLZ! Cha. 4 On
1. Chapter 1

Cap. 1  
  
1st I need to say that I'm translating this fic from Portuguese, and have only saw the series in Portuguese. So, I think a few names differ, so here it it:  
  
Saori=Sienna

Tatsumi=The butler guy  
  
One day at the Kido Mansion/Embassy/Whatever  
  
Saori—Seiya, I've told you before that your allowance must last the entire month. You keep spending it all in a week, and then you come asking for more!  
  
Seiya—But Saori, we never have anything to do. We must spend our time someway.  
  
Saori—There are cheaper ways to spend time than go to strip sars every night...  
  
Seiya—Like what?  
  
Saori—Mumbles incoherently.  
  
Seiya—You see, there's nothing else!  
  
Saori—Your problem is that you got too much time on your hands. You should get a job.  
  
Hyoga—(Who just walked into the room.)And who would want to give us a job? We don't know how to do anything...  
  
Saori—You'll see. I got to stop the bleeding in my wallet.  
  
--Later—  
  
The five bronze saints were in Seiya's room.  
  
Shiryu—Do you really thing she is going to get us a job?  
  
Ikki—Do you really think anyone will want to hire us? Take it easy. Remember that time she sent us to clean the kitchen, and we did it so well that there are still some fat left over on the wall...  
  
Hyoga—That's right. We're too incompetent for anyone to hire. The only place where we could work is where nothing was done...  
  
All—Laughs.  
  
Shun—We should find a place like that. That way we wouldn't have to stand Saori's cheapness. Who hears hear thinks she hasn't got a dollar of her own... --A week after that—  
  
Saori—I have good news.  
  
Seiya—Hey! Is it a raise on our allowance?  
  
Saori—YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU THINK I'M PAYING YOU ENOUGH ALLREADY???  
  
Shiryu—Calm down. You'll scare the boy to death...  
  
Saori—You're right, I must calm down. What I've got to say to you is that I found you a job in one of my corporations.  
  
All—WHAT??  
  
Saori—Exactly, a job. I taught it was time for you to stop hanging around the house all day doing nothing, bored, and spending my money. So, who wants to be the first to thank me?  
  
Ikki—Thank you? Oh, you ­ï 


	2. Chapter 2

Cap. 2  
  
--The next day, in front of a big building.—  
  
Hyoga—In the paper it says it's here.  
  
Ikki—I still think we shouldn't have come.  
  
Shiryu—Oh, do you really think so? Then, bye-bye allowance, and what were we going to live on? You may think being a obo is a lot of fun, but I don't have your exquisite preferences...  
  
Seiya—But, I taught Saori was going to stop paying our allowance anyway...  
  
Hyoga—Yea, but don't forger the salary...  
  
Seiya—Oh, is there a salary?  
  
Shun—Never mind that. Let's get in, maybe, who knows, it may not even be that bad...  
  
Ikki—Of course, work must be very pleasant. I wonder why people don't do it FOR FREE... NEXT TIME TRY AND MAKE SOME SENCE.  
  
Shiryu—Well, let's get in. Saori told us we have to go to some HR department. Let's ask that over there. (To the doormen)I'm sorry, can you tell me where is the so called HR department?  
  
Doormen—Get the elevator there, and go to the 10th floor. It's right there, just by the exit of the elevator.  
  
Shiryu—Thanks.  
  
They catch the elevator, go up to the 10th floor. They get out of the elevator and walk towards the door of the HR department. They walk in.  
  
Shun—We'd like to talk to the director of HR  
  
Dumb blonde secretary—Messrs. Seiya, Shiryu, Hyoga, Shun and Ikki?  
  
Shun—That's right.  
  
Dumb blonde secretary—Go ahead, he's waiting for you.  
  
They enter the Director's office.  
  
Director(Sited on his chair, showing them only his back.)—It's about time. You're 3 minutes late.  
  
Shiryu—Don't I know this voice?  
  
The Director turns in his chair.  
  
Cancer Deahtmask—Of course you know me, Shiryu, and I know you all pretty well too.  
  
All the Bronze Knight—YOU???  
  
DM(DM means Deathmask)—That's right, I myself. What about it, a man needs to work for a living, and this Knight business wasn't working for me, so I had to find something better to do. Besides, this job is perfect for me. If I hadn't been a Knight, I would've become a Human Resources Director right away.  
  
Hyoga—Why is the job perfect for you?  
  
DM—After you spend a few days working here, you'll see why. Now, lets get down to business. I want you to know that I only got this job for you because I was forced to. It was an order from You Know Who, I had to do it.  
  
Shun—Is that supposed to make us feel better about the job?  
  
DM—Of course not. Why do you think I love this job so much? The objective is to make you feel so bad about it that you feel you have to quit. But, above all things, we're going to have fun...  
  
Hyoga—Well, you're out of luck. If we quit, Saori stops supporting us, and we don't want to become beggars.  
  
DM—Well, let's see if you still think that way in a few days. Well this is the situation: like you're so very good, no one in the corporation wanted you to work in their department, so I had to come up with a special department for you... And, like I couldn't create a department with only 5 people, I took the chance to help some of the people who are doing some real work to become free from some of their useless co-workers.... Now, I got to choose a boss for you... Hum, let me think. I know, the boss is going to be that ugly guy in the middle(Seiya).  
  
Seiya—Ugly, me?  
  
Ikki—Seiya? He doesn't even know which day of the week are we in...  
  
Seiya—Oh, never mind them. They're just upset 'cus it's Monday.  
  
All the other Bronze Knights—It's Tuesday!  
  
DM—Hehe, this is going to be really fun. Well, be here tomorrow so that I can introduce you to your future co-workers. Now enjoy your last day of freedom. Muhahaha.

To the lone reviewer(Female Heero Yuy)--I just wanna say that I AM writing it in both languages. And thanks for the review.


	3. Chapter 3

Cap. 3  
  
--The same day, in... Ikki's room—  
  
Ikki—Damn, Saori must be insane. How could she have the taught of getting us to work with the Marquis de Sade Jr.,--aka Cancer deathmask??  
  
Seiya—At least if she fires us we have an excuse.  
  
Hyoga—You idiot, remember what he said. He's not going to fire anybody. He's just going to make us feel so bad that we want to quit...  
  
Shun—And it looks like is getting what he wants. We can't think it's going to be that bad, or we're going to feel even worse.  
  
Ikki—And can you feel good having that idiot as your boss(pointing at Seiya).  
  
Seiya—This idiot can make your day even harder than Deathmask, so let's treat me with a bit more respect, shall we?...  
  
Ikki---Oh, you- Here, I respect whoever I want...  
  
Shun—QUIET.(All the other knights look at him with an amazed look on their faces). Now let's get some sleep, 'cus if we're late Deathmask is not going to shut up all day.  
  
--Next day, Deathmask's office.—  
  
DM—I see you arrived on time today. Looks like our little talk yesterday has made effect... Well, I'll introduce you to your new co-workers.  
  
They walk towards the lobby of the HR Department.  
  
DM(To his secretary)—Aum, cough cough(Thinking) I can never remember the woman's name.(Out loud) Where are the idiots who are supposed to work with this idiots?  
  
Dumb Blonde Secretary—I have a note here saying all those idiots quit when they knew who they were going to work with.  
  
DM—(Smiles)—Finally some good news today. Well, it looks like it's me who is going to show you the shithole where you're going to spend 80 hours a week.  
  
--Another place in the same building, an hour later—  
  
DM—That is it, you've seen the company's cafeteria, who proudly serves the worst food 50 miles around. Now let's see the place where you'll work. Seiya, as you are the boss, you are entitled to this office. It has beautiful furniture, of wood-like plastic, and a door with a broken lock. And it has a wonderful computer with only 5 years of use...  
Seiya(With an excitement look on his face)—Man, how can you say you want to make our lives miserable?...  
  
Deathmask slaps himself on his forehead.  
  
DM—Moving on, the others will have these beautiful plastic cubicles, with no ceiling nor door, with furniture recycled from the dump. Because our company is environment friendly...  
  
Shiryu—You trained a lot to get to that degree of evilness, didin't you?  
  
DM—Com'on. Some things a just are just natural... well, I was forced to get you this job, but there is really nothing for you to do here, so you'll have to talk with this guy(gives Seiya a piece of paper), so that he can get you something to do. They're doing some real work. It's not like they're doing it well, but anyways, I've never seen anything well done in this company, so you don't have to worry about that. Oh, one thing: I'm not so stupid I'm not going to ask that guy if you really talked to him. Now, I go to go. I got some employees to terrify in the 8th floor. Farewell, hehe.  
  
Deathmask walks out laughing.  
  
Ikki—Seiya, give me that guy's number. Let's get this on with.  
  
Seiya—It's Mr. Ogawara here, please.  
  
Ikki—Damn, you0re not starting that now, are you? I'd like to know why did that demented Deathmask choosed you to be boss...  
  
Shun—IKKI! Let Seiya call, otherwise Deathmask is going to kill us.  
  
Seiya calls the guy.  
  
Hyoga—how is he going to kill us?  
  
Shun—Uh, I don't know... Yelling at us to death?...  
  
Seiya—I've been talking to that guy's secretary. He says he's going to be here in 5 minutes...  
  
--5 Minutes later—  
  
Jaboo—Has someone called me here? Seiya!, what are you doing here?  
  
All the others—Jaboo???  
  
Jaboo—Why all the astonishment? I had enough of kissing up to Saori, so I got this job for me and my gang so that I can have an excuse to not put up with her 24/7.  
  
Seiya—And what does your gang do here?  
  
Jaboo—Oh, believe it or not, we're doing the scripts of Knights of the Zodiac, for the new dubbing down.  
  
Hyoga—I taught the dubbers wrote their own scripts...  
  
Jaboo—They used to, and just check out the outcome...  
  
Ikki—Yes, and I supoe they will be a lot better if you do them....  
  
Shun—Ikki! Don't start again...  
  
Seiya-You we're supposed to bring us a list of work to do.  
  
Jaboo—Oh, yes, our department's useless work list. Well, here's the 1st. We need one of you to write us the alphabet in all the fonts your computer has available. We figured out, since you can make it to the speed of light, you'd do the job faster than we would...  
  
Seiya—Shun, you get this one.  
  
And follows the distribution of useless work...  
  
--To be continued--

Author's note: Thanks to all who reviewed. (To Vane Nascimento: i'd love to write in in spanish if I'd know how to. But thanks for all the reviews you've done to my stories. They fill me with happiness.) The next chapter is going to be bigger than the previous ones.


	4. Chapter 4

Cap. 3  
  
--A few days after the last chapter, at office.—  
  
Hyoga—Ikki, what are you doing?  
  
Ikki—I'm playing computer. Why?  
  
Hyoga—How can you avoid working?  
  
Ikki—You're really stupid, you know? Do you think Seiya notices anything? He's too busy staring at his screensaver...  
  
Hyoga—I thought that had a deadline...  
  
Ikki—It has. What you got to do is: if you need a day to do it, ask for a week. Do always like that. Seiya isn't so smart that he can notice it, so you have nothing to worry about...  
  
Shiryu—Hey guys. What are you doing?  
  
Ikki—What are you doing here at this time of the day? We've been here for 2 hours.  
  
Shiryu—Calm down. I've got an excuse. I took Saori to the doctor.  
  
Ikki—Why couldn't Tatsumi take her?  
  
Shiryu—Don't you know? Tatsumi lost his driver's license.  
  
Hyoga--Really? Why?  
  
Shiryu—Don't you know? He was caught drinking and driving.  
  
Ikki—Oh. So now he's hitting the bottle?...  
  
Hyoga—Must've got tired of putting up with Saori...  
  
Enters Deathmask.  
  
DM—Shiryu, I hope you have a good excuse for being 2 hours late.  
  
Shiryu—Yes, I do have. I took Saori to the doctor.  
  
DM—Hm, I know nothing about that. But this time I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And where is Shun?  
  
Ikki—He went to get some coffee.  
  
Hyoga—Why don't you get a coffee machine here? It's another part of your plan to torture us, isn't it?  
  
DM—That's not of my department. I assure you that unfortunately I don't have anything to do with that. If I had, there would be only 1 coffee machine for the entire building.  
  
Shun arrives with 3 cups of coffee(expresso XD)  
  
Shun—Here's your coffee.  
  
Hyoga—Damn. This is cold already.  
  
Shun—Ikki!  
  
Ikki—Don't talk to my bro like that, are you hearing me, duck?  
  
Hyoga—It's a Swan!  
  
DM—Muhahaha. It seems my colleague in supplies also likes to make people suffer...  
  
Shiryu—Why isn't there any coffee for me?  
  
Ikki—'Cus you weren't here when Shun went to get it...  
  
Shiryu—Oh, right(blushes).  
  
DM—Well, like I'm in a good mood today, I'll give you the number of the guy who's in charge of the coffee machines. You can go and talk to him, but I doubt it will do any good. Once I had to wait 3 weeks to get the coffee machine in my office fixed up...  
  
Ikki—You have a coffee machine in your office? Buaaaa.  
  
Hyoga—Why are you so perky today?  
  
DM—Oh, that reminds me why I came here. Well, the problem is that, according to a survey we conduced on our clients, the main complain they have about our employees, is that they can't dress properly, like, they wear the same outfit all the time, or they wear clothing of enormous bad taste, like white socks...  
  
Ikki—Histerycal laugh.  
  
All look weirdly at Ikki for a bit.  
  
DM—Anyways, the solution we came up with was to find a beauty consultant for you...  
  
Hyoga--A what?  
DM—Think Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Think of all the 5 in just one person. Now imagine that person is a consultant. There you have... He'll buy you some decent clothes and get you a new look.  
  
Ikki—Why does it have to be us to participate in that brilliant idea of yours?  
  
DM—'Cus you are the only ones doing nothing...  
  
Shun—Hipee, we're going to a beauty session...  
  
All sweetdrops.  
  
Hyoga—Hve you told that to Seiya?  
  
DM—I just did.  
  
Ikki—What did he think?  
  
DM—I don't think he liked the idea, but I think he should be grateful for someone to change his hairstyle...  
  
Shun—And how's going to be that consultant?  
  
DM—You'll see. Well, if you really want, you can go talk with that guy about the coffee machine. Well, I got to go now, I'll have lunch with the CEO. Oh, by the way, Shun you can kiss that little plant on your desk goodbye.  
  
Shun—Why? I want my plant!  
  
DM—Plants attract bugs. Our CEO hates bugs. It's not my fault. Get a pplsatic plant.  
  
Shun—BUAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I want my plant.  
  
DM—Man! Make him quiet.  
  
Ikki—The only way is to let the plant stay.  
  
Shun—BUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
DM—Ok, he can keep the plant. But tell him to shut up.  
  
Shun—Thank you, I knew you weren't that bad.  
  
Deathmask walks out, taking a Prozac tablet.  
  
Shiryu—Do you really think it's any good talking to this guy to see if he can get us a coffee machine?  
  
Hyoga—We can try...  
  
Ikki—I'll go there talk to that guy. Where do you say we need to go?  
  
Hyoga—Here it says 2nd floor.  
  
Ikki—I'm going.  
  
--In the 2nd floor.—  
  
Ikki—Where is this guy's office?  
  
Teamster—It's right there on the left.  
  
Ikki—Thanks.  
  
Ikki walks to the director's office lobby.  
  
Ikki—Can I speak to that director guy?  
  
Dumb blonde secretary 2—What do you want to talk to him about?  
  
Ikki—About coffee machines.  
  
Dumb blonde secretary—You'll have to wait in line like everybody else.(she points to a big line of people standing at the door of the director's office.)  
  
Ikki stands in line.  
  
Ikki—How long do you think we're gonna stay here?  
  
Guy 1—I dunno about you, but I brought my lunch with me.  
  
Guy 2—I've been here since yesterday. I'm not leaving.  
  
Ikki—I'll give you 100 bucks if you leave.  
  
Guy 2—Oh well, I was just leaving anyway.(Grabs the money from Ikki's hands. Everybody sweadrops.)  
  
--Meanwhile—  
  
Shiryu—Damn, this ï¦âï£ï«ï©ï®ï§ï computer crashed again...  
  
Hyoga—I wonder if someone deep in this company thinks we're this place's dump... Let me talk to Ikki(Grabs his cell phone.) Ikki, since you're there to talk with the coffee machine guy, can't you see if you can get us some decent computers?  
  
Ikki—I'll try.  
  
Hyoga—Do you think you'll take long? Seiya asked for you...  
  
Ikki—What did he want?  
  
Hyoga—He wanted you to grab him a burger...  
  
Ikki—Tell him I'm not his secretary.  
  
Hyoga—I already told him to get one. But are you going to take long?  
  
Ikki—Dunno. Don't think so. There are only 40 more people ahead of me...  
  
Hyoga—Ok, cool.(Hangs us.)  
  
Shun—So, is he going to take long?  
  
Hyoga—He says there's only 40 more people ahead of him. He must e done quickly...  
  
Seiya(Walks in)—Hei guys! How you doing?  
  
Hyoga—Seiya, just the one I was looking for! I need 500 bucks...  
  
Seiya—I can only give you 50.  
  
Hyoga—That will do.  
  
Seiya—What do you need 500 bucks for?  
  
Hyoga—I need to buy a new chair. This one is broken...  
  
Seiya—I taught it was already broken when we got here...  
  
Hyoga—Then it was just a bit unstable.  
  
Seiya—Why don't you just give supplies a call?  
  
Hyoga—I tried. They said they don't have any chairs in stock that are bad enough to send here. So I need the money. Then you cash it on accountancy...  
  
Seiya—How can I convince an accountant that you need a new chair? You'll just going to keep that one...  
  
Hyoga-But if I sit on this chair I get so uncomfortable I can't even think. I got an idea, let's switch chairs. You don't think anyway...  
  
Seiya—You're not requires to think in this job...  
  
Hyoga—Bua-a-a.  
  
Seiya—If you really need a new chair, try to convince the accountants that you really need a new chair. I have no problem getting you the 50 bucks.  
  
Seiya walks out.  
  
Hyoga—I guess I'll really have to go see the accountants...  
  
Shun—Are you passing by the bar? If you are, can you bring me a lolly pop?  
  
Hyoga—I'm going to no bar. I'm not your servant. Go get it yourself...  
  
Hyoga walks out.  
  
--At Seiya's office—  
  
Seiya(Thinking)—I really need to get a secretary. Other executives don't respect me 'cus I don't have one. I'll have to ask Deathmask for one...  
  
Seiya rises and goes to DM's office.  
  
Seiya(thinking)—Oh, Deathmask's secretary is not here. I'll have to barge in than...  
  
Seiya opens the door repently.  
  
Seiya—Heyyy there!  
  
DM—AUUUUU. You idiot, did u see what you done? You'd almost made me get my scissors into my brain.  
  
Seiya—Oh, why do you have to cut your nose hair on office anyway?  
  
DM—I do what I want. Why didn't my idiot secretary warn me you wanted to see me?  
  
Seiya—She's not there?  
  
DM—What? What is she doing???  
  
Seiya—I dunno. But that reminds me why I came here.  
  
DM—Why?  
  
Seiya—I need you to get me a secretary!  
  
DM—Have you been drinking too much coffee? Don't you know we're at our maximum employee capacity?  
  
Seiya—But if I don't get a secretary other executives are never going to respect me...  
  
DM—Why don't you try to earn they're respect by working?  
  
Seiya—But I need a secretary! I'm the only executive without one...  
  
DM—We'll do like this: you get someone to quit his job, and I get a secretary for you.  
  
Seiya—It seems fair. You'll see I'll get someone to quit.  
  
Seiya walks out.  
  
DM(thinking)—What an idiot. If he does get someone to quit I'll eat my hat. Or I would, If I had an hat...  
  
At the door of the accounting department.  
  
Hyoga—Can I see the director of this thing?  
  
Dumb blonde secretary 3—Yes, you can. He's not doing anything important...  
  
Hyoga—Knock knock.  
  
Voice—Come in!  
  
Hyoga—Ok.  
  
Mu—What can I do for you Hyoga?  
  
Hyoga—Mu??  
  
Mu—Of course. Or do you think you would be repairing clothes(armours) for the rest of my life??  
  
Hyoga—Still, I never imagined you would end up here...  
  
Mu—You know how much they are paying me for this? Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I bet you didn't came here to ask me how much money I make...  
  
Hyoga—Well, the truth is that I come here 'cus Seiya sent me. He doesn't want to give me 50 bucks to buy a new chair. He says it's your fault, and if I can convince you to give the 50 bucks, it's all ok with him...  
  
Mu—Well, let's see, what's wrong with the chair?  
  
Hyoga—The seat is broken, and I can't seat because it sting my ass...  
  
Mu—Couldn't you fix that yourself? Is there really a need to buy a new chair?  
  
Hyoga—No, I can't fix it. It's really rotten...  
  
Hyoga—Couldn't you get a cheaper chair? Does it have to be a 50 bucks chair? Can't you get a 2nd hand one?  
  
Hyoga—Like the 15th hand trash you got us...  
  
Mu—Why not?  
  
Hyoga—Ahhhhhhhh  
  
--Meanwhile—  
  
Seiya—I wonder when is that consultant guy showing up...  
  
Shiryu—Why are you so anxious? Wanna change looks as quickly as possible?  
  
Seiya—Look who's talking. You haven't cut that hair since you were born...  
  
Shiryu—At least it's well taken care of, unlike that haystack you carry on the top of your head...  
  
DM—Attention, here's you beauty consultant!  
  
Aphrodite—Hello sexys!  
  
Shiryu—Him?  
  
DM—I hope you're all happy with my choice. Muhahaha.  
  
DM walks out.  
  
Aphrodite—Well, let's start the Make Over. Shiryu, you need a hair cut and new clothing. You got to start wearing anything else beside that Kimono...  
  
Shiryu—My hair. BUAAAAA  
  
Aphrodite—Seiya, you'll need a total make over. New hair cut, new clothes, but especially a new hair style. Did you fell asleep in the 50's?  
  
Seiya—What's wrong with my hair?  
  
Aphrodite—Shun, you'll only need new clothing, that style is so not you. I got to give you 3 a more professional style. Where are the other 2?  
  
Shiryu—They're busy. And I wish I was too...  
  
Aphrodite—Oh, do not despair. You'll see, after we finish you'll thank me for what I did. Now let's go.  
  
Shiryu—Where are we going?  
  
Aphrodite—We're going to the mall, to get you some new clothes.  
  
Shiryu—Ahhhhhhg.  
  
--At supplies—  
  
Ikki(Thinking)—Man, there's only one more guy in there speaking to the director guy, and then it's me. It looks like all this waiting time is worth something.  
  
A furious guy walks out of the director's office.  
  
Voice—NEXT!  
  
Ikki walks in.  
  
Aldebaran—IKKI! You here???  
  
Ikki—Aldebaran, what are you doing here?  
  
Aldebaran—The same as you. Pretending to work. So, what brings you here?  
  
Ikki—I got a problem with our coffee machine. It looks like there's only one machine to every other floor, so every time we want coffee, we have to go to the other floor to get it. That's very tiring. Can't you find a way of bringing the coffee machine to our floor?  
  
Aldebaran—Which floor do you work in?  
  
Ikki—5th floor.  
  
Aldebaran—Well, I can't get the coffee machine out of the 6th floor 'cus very important people work there. People who could get me fired if I annoyed them too much. And you know what Saori does to those who got fired, don't you?  
  
Ikki—That's a no. Ok, I tried...  
  
Ikki walks out.  
  
Guy 3—I couldn't help but earing your conversation with the director guy. You're from 5th floor to, so let's do it this way, I got another 2 co- workers, this here behind me, we're planning in stealing the coffee machine from the 6th floor and get it to the 5th. Like everyone's stupid around here no one will notice it's the same machine. What do you say?  
  
Ikki—Count me in...  
  
Guy 3—Cool then, I'm Isaac. This here is Daniel and this is Tina. We'll meet at 9 PM on the parking lot. Be there.  
  
Next chapter:  
  
--Will Hyoga manage to convince Mu he needs a chair to work?  
  
--Will Seiya get someone to quit his job?  
  
--What's Aphrodite going to do with the Knights?  
  
--Will Ikki manage to kidnap the coffee machine?  
  
To be continued.  
  
Thanks for all who reviewed. And review more 


End file.
